


Feel Me, See Me

by musikfurfreiheit



Category: Delain - Fandom, Nightwish, Within Temptation (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:58:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4968964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musikfurfreiheit/pseuds/musikfurfreiheit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t get blinded by outer beauty.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

** Feel Me, See Me **

****

If there was one thing that Sharon hated, it was people who changed their plans on the very last minute. She was supposed to meet her best friend in front of the school, but just when she wanted to open the door to go outside, the young girl called her to tell her she was in the cafeteria. Rushing through the other side of the school, Sharon silently cursed the teacher that kept her friend from leaving the school. That was another thing that she hated, assignments that you had to make in group in a very limited amount of time. It was probably also the reason she had failed most of her classes last year and she was still in college at the age of 21, she had no friends to work with. Well, she had Charlotte, but Charlotte was in her first year of Art History while Sharon was in her last year of Fashion so that was no option.

She tried to avoid the students in the hallway while the rushed through it, but when she looked back to see what idiot had nearly made her trip over his bag, she ran into another student. The floor was filled with the papers the girl had been carrying and her green eyes seemed shocked.

‘I’m sorry.’ Sharon muttered and wanted to run further, but the girl’s voice stopped her.

‘It’s okay, but could you help me collect my papers?’

She eyed the girl for a second, and it was only when she noticed that she wasn’t even looking at her that Sharon’s eyes fell on the dark Labrador. It was wearing a vest to tell people they weren’t allowed to pet or feed him and Sharon finally understood what was going on.

‘You’re blind…’

‘Yeah, I know.’ The girl answered impatient. ‘Could you get me my papers?’

Slowly she ducked to collect the sheets of which she now noticed were filled with little dots. While the girl was still staring at the hallway that was slowly getting empty, the dog followed her movements with his warm brown eyes.

‘I wasn’t paying attention to where I was running, I’m really sorry.’ She apologized again as she handed the girl her papers.

‘Yeah, yeah, I get it.’

‘Eh, could I walk you to class?’ Sharon offered, deciding Charlotte could wait a few minutes.

‘No, I can do that myself, I don’t need your help for that.’

The girl’s voice sounded cold as she stepped aside and firmly hold the bar around her guide dog’s body as she walked off. Sharon stared at her until she walked around the corner and then followed her way to the cafeteria, a shiver crawling up her spine as she thought back of the cold green eyes staring into emptiness.

The cafeteria was crowded, but Sharon had no problems finding the 18 year old redhead. She took off her leather jacket and pecked her cheek before sitting next to her.

‘I’m sorry it took me so long. I just walked bumped in on a blind girl…’

‘Oh, you mean Tarja!’ Charlotte smile as Sharon rose her eyebrow.

‘You know her? I’ve never seen her here…’

‘I bet she wasn’t seen you either.’ The redhead joked before taking a sip of her coke. ‘She’s been a student here for the last six months, she is one of those very talented piano players and you would have seen her if you went to all of your classes and not just the ones you feel like going to.’

‘I already had all of them.’ Sharon mumbled.

‘Yeah, and you failed them.’

‘You’re not my mother. Look, are you going to eat those fries or can I have them?’

With a sigh Charlotte shove her plate aside and in no time her older friend finished it with great enthusiasm.

 

‘Tuomas, I’m home!’

Tarja’s voiced echoed through the apartment as she closed the door behind her and dropped her bag on its regular place next to the door. She heard heavy footsteps coming from the kitchen and passing her as they continued their way to the peg.

‘Hey! I’m sorry I don’t have much time. How was school?’

‘The usual.’ The girl answered as she took the armor off of her dog, letting him know his job was done.

‘Great! There’s pasta in the microwave, I’ll be home around 10, Marco has an extra job for me.’

The “Thank you” she shouted went lost as the young men closed the door behind his back and Tarja made her way to the kitchen. She filled the dog’s bowl with water and leaned against the cooking island as she listened to his drinking sounds. As she waited for her food to be ready, her mind wandered back to the girl that had run in to her at school. It wasn’t the first time it happened since most of the time she had no idea of where she was going and as usual they would apologize as if their lives depended on it. But there was something about this girl that kept spooking through her mind. Was it the fact that she had sounded so naïve? The little trembling in her voice? Maybe the little crack in it when Tarja turned down her offer? Her mind got so wrapped up in the mystery that the beeping of the microwave got lost in the silence of the apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

When Sharon graduated high school she was so happy that there wouldn’t be any more PE classes in her life. And yet, her she was, running through the hallways of the school as if her life depended on it. All the doors looked alike and she had been in this part of the school only twice before which made it hard for her to find the right class room. Three years ago she dated one of those talented musicians and now she was cursing the guitarist for not bringing her to this part of the school.

She was out of breath when she saw the room she was looking for and a relieved sigh rolled over her lip. As she stood in front of the door while trying to catch her breath, Sharon saw Tarja sitting in one of the chairs, the dog laying next to her as her fingers stroke the paper she was reading. As confident as possible she tried to enter the room, the other students didn’t watched her as she sat down next to the blind girl.

‘You sound like you’ve been running.’ The girl said before Sharon had even opened her mouth.

‘I’m the girl that ran into you yesterday.’

‘I know, I recognize your… voice.’

‘I was looking for you.’ For a moment it was quiet between them while Tarja read the text that was invisible for Sharon, who looked up when the other girl sighed.

‘Do I really have to ask you why you were looking for me or are you going to tell me?’

‘Oh, eh… I wanted to apologize again for yesterday, and I wondered if you wanted to join me for coffee.’ Another sigh escaped Tarja’s lips as she put down her paper, never turning her head in Sharon’s direction.

‘Look, I might be blind, but I’m not helpless nor friendless. I don’t need your apologies, I don’t need your sympathy and no, I don’t want to join you for coffee or whatever. I don’t even know your name.’ She grabbed the guide dog’s bar and rose, but Sharon grabbed her wrist before she could walk away.

‘Sharon.’

‘What?’

‘My name is Sharon. And I don’t want to apologize for running into you, I did that yesterday. I want to apologize for… threating you different, and I really want your company for coffee. I even ran from the other side of the school to ask you.’

Tarja didn’t move, just stared into emptiness as Sharon hopeful glanced at her. She could feel the girl’s muscles as she slowly loosened her grip on the iron bar in her hand, but did not fully relax. The dog’s brown eyes looked at his owner before eyeing the stranger, looking back at the blind girl when she sighed again.

‘Okay, fine, I’ll join you for coffee, but only if you pay. The table in the far right corner of the cafeteria in two hours.’

Even though Tarja couldn’t see it, Sharon smiled as she let go of her wrist. The blind girl walked towards one of the pianos and the dog lay down next to her as she sat down on the stool. Sharon watched as Tarja’s graceful fingers put the headset on before resting on the keys. Fascinated she watched as the skilled fingers danced over the black and white keys and even though she couldn’t hear a single note, Sharon knew it had to be beautiful.

 

Two hours later Sharon sat in the far right corner of the cafeteria with two coffee’s in front of her. She watched the vapor rising from the hot liquid until her attention was pulled towards the door. She already raised her hand as she saw Tarja entering, realizing just in time that it wouldn’t help finding her. To her surprise the dark haired girl smoothly made her way to the table without bumping into anything and Sharon placed her coffee in front of her as she sat down.

‘Vanilla? Thanks.’ Sharon stared at her for a second, wondering if this girl was playing a trick on her.

‘Wow… It’s so cool that you can do that…’

‘What? Smelling the flavor of the coffee?’ Tarja asked before taking a sip of it.

‘Yeah, I mean… Look, I’m not really good at making friends so… Can we please start over?’

‘Fine, whatever. Tarja, first year Piano.’ The girl smiled as she stretched out her hand, which Sharon happily shook.

‘Sharon, last year in Fashion, and amazed by your talent. Does it help? I mean, being blind, does it help you hearing the right note or something?’

‘Yeah, a little, that’s one of the few advantages. There are way more disadvantages though. For example, I can’t live on my own, not even with Nemo.’ Her fingers stroke the head of the Labrador that lay next to her, looking up when he heard his name.

‘Don’t worry, I also still live with my parents.’ Sharon smiled, but Tarja shook her head.

‘I don’t. My twin brother and I moved here so I could come to college. I often feel guilty for it, you know… Tuomas works as a garbage man so he has money to take care of me, it’s my fault he isn’t in college too.’

‘But it’s not your fault your blind, is it? I mean, there’s nothing you can do about it…’

‘I know, and I also know that I shouldn’t be complaining. I’m very lucky that my brother is doing this for me and that the world gave me 13 years to see everything I needed before I turned completely blind. So, don’t worry, I know the colors and I know what the sky and the stars look like.’

Tarja was interrupted by a beeping noise coming from her watch and Sharon saw Nemo standing while a sigh rolled over his owner’s lips. She emptied her coffee and gave Sharon an apologizing look.

‘I’m sorry, I have to go. My next class starts in 5 minutes.’

‘Can I walk you this time?’

Even though the blind girl couldn’t see it, Sharon hopefully looked at her. Tarja seemed to think about it, but after just a few seconds a smile crawled up her lips and held out her arm. With one arm hooked in Tarja’s and the other one holding her coffee, Sharon guided Tarja to her classroom, the eyes of the dog following every move she made.


	3. Chapter 3

‘Are you sure she’s coming? I don’t have a lot of time…’

‘Nemo probably got lost or something…’ Sharon mumbled as she checked her watch again.

Tarja was supposed to meet Sharon and Charlotte 15 minutes ago, but every sign of the blind girl was missing. Sharon had especially chosen the girl’s favorite spot, the far right corner in the cafeteria where she could feel the sunlight and pretend to be outside, but she was nowhere to be seen.

When Sharon had asked if Tarja wanted to join both of them during the break, she had immediately agreed and it had made her so happy. Finally she wasn’t that girl with just one friend anymore, even if she now had just two of them, she had doubled her amount of friends. But Charlotte’s words were worrying her? What if Tarja wasn’t coming? What if Tarja didn’t like her at all and was just trying to hurt her? Another sigh rolled over her lips as she tried to push aside those thoughts, but didn’t succeed. She still couldn’t get how a scar had changed her life, in a way that even a blind person didn’t want to be friends with her. There was no way that Tarja could know about the scar running down her face next to her left eye unless people had told her about it.

‘Isn’t that her?’

Sharon looked up from her watch when Charlotte interrupted her thoughts. Her eyes immediately spotted the small dark haired girl as she entered the cafeteria, alone and less confident as usual.

‘Yeah, that’s Tarja.’

‘Should we call her or something?’

‘No, she’ll find us.’

Sharon was right. Without much trouble Tarja made her way to their table, the white stick in her hand preventing her from bumping into tables and chairs. A relieved sigh left her mouth as she safely set down with the two friends.

‘I’m sorry I’m late. Nemo is ill so I’m on my own today.’

‘It’s okay. I want to introduce you to my friend, Charlotte.’

‘Actually,’ The redhead started before standing. ‘I don’t have a lot of time, my teacher wants to see me before class and he’s probably already waiting. I’ll meet you another time.’ Charlotte leaned down and kissed Sharon’s cheek before walking out of the cafeteria.

‘You told her I’m blind, right?’

‘Yeah, but her teacher is actually waiting for her. You also don’t have to leave already, do you?’

‘No, but I get it if you want to go to some friends or something, you don’t have to keep me company.’

‘I don’t have any friends.’ Sharon mumbled. ‘Except for you and Charlotte, I already told you I’m not good at making friends. Most people don’t seem to like my gothic style, I guess it scares.’

The lie she’d been telling herself rolled so easily over her lips. For more than a year she’d whispered it to her reflection, so many times that she eventually started to believe it. But it didn’t matter how often she said it, it would never be the truth.

‘Oh, thought it was because you’re gay…’

‘How…?’ It wasn’t much more than a nervous and surprised whisper, but it was enough for Tarja’s sensitive ears.

‘I’m blind, not stupid. I heard her kiss you.’

‘Yeah, on my cheek…’

‘Oh… Sorry…’

‘But… You’re right, we broke up 5 months ago.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ Tarja said as she shifted uncomfortable on her chair, but Sharon shook her head.

‘It was just a summer thing, you know… Charlotte has been my best friend since I moved to this town 8 years ago and last summer we… tried… something. It was nice for a while, but in the end all we did was fight. We decided to break up to save our friendship, and I discovered that I like girls more than boys... How do you date?’

‘I’m allowed to feel them.’ Tarja answered with a grin. ‘But I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as they treat me right. I don’t get blinded by outer beauty.’

‘Did you just…?’

‘I’m blind, I’m allowed to make blind jokes.’ The grin on her face turned into a laugh and Sharon shook her head.

‘Are you free tonight? I mean, do you want to do something after school?’

‘Well, I am free, but I’d like to be with Nemo… You’re welcome to come over though.’

‘Great, that’d be…’ Once again she got interrupted by the beeping of Tarja’s watch once again and the girl sighed as she pushed the button to turn it off.

‘Could you walk me to class? I hate using my cane…’

‘Sure.’

With a smile the two girls linked their arms together and walked out of the cafeteria. While Tarja listened fascinated to Sharon’s voice and the other girl smiled while she joked about being her new Nemo, they didn’t notice the strange looks people were giving them. And even if they had noticed them, they wouldn’t have cared.

 

Several hours later Sharon watched how Tarja shoved the key in the keyhole at the first attempt. They were greeted by the happy dark Labrador as soon as the door opened and a smile appeared on Tarja’s face as she felt his wet nose against her hand.

‘Looks like you’re feeling better, huh buddy? Tuomas?!’ The girl laughed after she heard Sharon closing the door behind them. ‘Hmm, looks like he isn’t home…’

Followed by Nemo Tarja walked towards the kitchen and as Sharon reached it, she found her friend moving her fingers over a piece of paper. Without explaining the girl walked back to the living room and sat down on the couch, Nemo jumping next to her and resting his head on her lap.

‘Would you like to watch a movie with me?’

‘You’re kidding me, aren’t you?’

‘No.’ Tarja smiled while she shook her head. ‘I’ve seen Pocahontas like, 500 times before I got completely blind. I know the movie by heart, but I still love to listen to it. Will you watch it with me?’

‘Yeah, sure, why not?’

‘Yay! The movie is in the drawer next to the television, second case on the right.’

Of course, every single thing in the apartment had to have its own place so Tarja would be able to find it. She opened the drawer, filled with Disney movies, and took out the right one before inserting it in the DVD player. Tarja easily found the right settings on the TV and only a minute later they were watching the movie. Only halfway through the movie, Nemo had started snoring and while he slept on his owner’s lap, Tarja leaned against Sharon, her eyes closed since she couldn’t see anyway. Sharon had almost fallen asleep by the time the credits rolled over the screen and she stretched as the other girl turned off the TV.

‘I guess I should be going home. Thanks for inviting me.’ She smiled as she stood, but before she could make her way to the door, Tarja had grabbed her wrist.

‘Wait! Will you stay until Tuomas is home? I don’t like being here alone…’

‘Eh, yeah, sure…’ Tarja’s hand slipped off her wrist, and when the soft fingers stroke her skin, Sharon wondered if she could feel the thin lines of red flesh. She got her answer when she sat back down.

‘Have you been cutting yourself?’

‘Yes…’ Sharon admitted quietly, not daring to look at Tarja, even if the girl couldn’t see her. ‘But it’s been almost 2 years since the last time.’

‘Why did you do it?’

Sharon didn’t answer her. Instead she grabbed one of the blind girl’s hands and guided it towards the scar that had ruined her life. Carefully Tarja’s soft fingers slid over the skin, she gasped as she felt how long it was and tried to imagine what it looked like.

‘My father was an alcoholic. He got mad often, but he never beat me. He threw things, and I got a master in avoiding flying things, but I didn’t see that last plate coming… When I got to school the next day, everyone was talking about how angry my father looked when they came at my place. They were talking about how my father abused me and my mother and how he raped me… Which isn’t true by the way, he never touched me like that.’ There fell a moment of silence between them before Tarja brought both her hands to Sharon’s face.

‘I want to see you.’ She whispered, but Sharon stood before her fingertips touched the older girl’s skin. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, but I want to this your way.’ She heard the click of the light switch before a thud and a curse.

‘How the hell do you do this?’ Sharon mumbled as she slowly looked for her spot on the couch.

She sat down again, awkwardly looking for the other girl’s body with her hands. A soft giggle sounded before warm hands embraced hers and placed them on the blind girl’s face. The hands slid from her wrists over her arms, following the line of her neck as they had reached her shoulders to finally end up on her face. As she felt the fingers stroking the skin of her cheeks, Sharon followed their example and it was only now that she noticed exactly how high her cheekbones where. She sighed as the fingers touched her lips, and she felt Tarja’s turning into a smile as her own digits danced over the soft pink skin.

She felt Tarja moving and Nemo grumbled as the girl moved closer to her. Her dark hair tickled Sharon’s fingers as she leaned in, brushing her lips against the older girl’s. Never had a kiss felt like this, never had she felt a person like this. She kissed her back and it was in that moment that she realized how hard she had been falling for this girl.

She could finally see Tarja in the same way she could see Sharon.


End file.
